I'm having a weird evening this evening. I feel like writing. Actually, I don't feel like writing as much as I feel like eating something, even though I am not hungry and don't need food right now. Actually, I don't feel like eating as much as I feel like talking to someone, but other than zinging chat messages to L. (who is busy with dinner and ( Read more... )

Happy Friday. It's a glorious sunny June day outside as I type this, around 5:00 PM. I have a beautiful view of the San Francisco and Oakland skylines from the fourth floor suite that houses our offices now, but today I am working from home, which also comes with a nice view out of the patio door. The sun is blazing, but it is not particularly hot ( Read more... )

Lauralee's homework assignment: go talk to Hoss. Hoss, Prince Lir, Mr. Heart. Why him? Does she expect that part of me to tell me something heretofore unspoken? The conversation concerns what I want. Where is my desire? What is my intention? Does Hoss know these things? I do know one thing: Hoss knows what he likes, when he sees it, but is Hoss ( Read more... )

Ack! I'm kind of wrung-out. It is hard to compose my thoughts. I feel tired. I kind of feel like writing but I'm not overflowing with inspiration. I keep wanting to get up from the keyboard and go do something else. I feel pensive and introspective.

I spoke to Lauralee today. She got to drive today. I didn't come with a pile of stuff to just dump ( Read more... )

They just don't get it. I tried holding a "serious conversation" with my mother this evening. She doesn't understand. Baggage. How does one discuss baggage with someone whose idea of "a good life" is radically different than one's own ( Read more... )

Damn it, what part of me refuses to believe that she holds me in contempt, or worse, maybe doesn't care that she does? Hell, for that matter, why did I persist in chasing her in the first place anyway when she's been rejecting me and telling me that I'm unsuited for her since the beginning? What in the hell was it? Why am I still arguing with ( Read more... )

According to the scale, I weigh 208 pounds this morning. I got up early to come into work because I have to leave early this afternoon for a dentist appointment in Livermore at 4 PM. I got up around 5:30 and turned the heat on and meditated. The furnace is programed to be around 60° F at night and not switch to 72° until 6. The cat seems reasonably ( Read more... )

It was a beautiful spring morning today. I weighed 211 pounds when I stepped on the scale this morning. I've lost over 60 pounds of "excess me" since February, and 80 pounds since last April. I'm feeling pretty good. I feel "springier" when I walk, like I can run and jump if I want to do so. I haven't weighed this little in years and I am somewhat ( Read more... )

Spring is in full bloom here. It was sunny and warm, but not hot, and the sky was sprinkled with cumulus clouds again, when I went for my noon walk. I've been doing some more thinking and things are starting to get a little clearer. I think I still have some anger, but now that it is getting clearer it is looking much less intense. The first ( Read more... )

In Brené Brown's video, she discusses the difference between sympathy and empathy. She breaks empathy down into four components, as I have documented in another entry. Brown distinguishes sympathy from empathy. She does this according to characteristic behaviors and effects associated with sympathy vs. empathy, but Brown does not identify the ( Read more... )